Wednesday, March 19, 2014

'Milla's Diary, week ending 19 March 2014

NOTE: This is affectionately written fiction. Any resemblance to royals, living or dead, is purely coincidental. This piece is copyright protected.

Need to catch up or know who is who? Check out the first installment of 'Milla's Diary.

13 March 2014

Nothing like a story in the press of SWMNBN being manipulative to set a hostile mood for the Royal Round. That the near-Saint gave away a state secret(albeit a not one up there with the nuclear weapon codes) to a journalist for revenge doesn't figure in, I suppose. Only that she felt unloved so had to have revenge. Now, I could live with her giving out Dear One's private number, but that she gave out the numbers of the Mother-in-law (the bloody Head of State and anointed Sovereign, if you please) and Pip and a few others for revenge, well, I fail to see how it helps the case for Sainthood. But what really irks me is that she did it to those boys! Honestly! Think things thru--in the end its the boys who were damaged. Both by the scheming press that must have every ridiculous detail of our lives and by SWMNBN who only wanted glory for herself with this action. I often wonder, were she alive today, if she would cringe at some of the things she did. We've all had revenge on our minds--even if only a fleeting moment in the loo at a bad party. But to play it all out so publicly? Hopefully, had she lived she'd have had remorse--at least for what it did to her boys. Dear One and the others were adults--they can carry on. But those poor boys! To live thru yet ANOTHER rehash of their parents warfare? Honestly, some of these stories (well those with an ounce of truth--and YES, Dear One has his moments, too) it seems the boys were the grown ups. It is only right that the truth on this one come out though, no matter how devastating it may be for the boys or her sisters. It was the wrong thing to do. Dear One, deserves his lumps on certain matters and I have made that abundantly clear to him. And One? Oh yes. We are none of us white as snow in moments of high emotion. But as my own children had their phones tapped, too.......



14 March 2014

Lovely lie-in this morning. We're in the country for the weekend. Bliss to be snuggled in bed with the dogs catching up the 'Street! I'm AGES behind again! Just as it was getting juicy, Dear One (who had been up for ages) trotted in with a speech to practice! Mind you I had not even finished my tea, let alone had a fag cigarette, but a wife must attend to wifely duties first! And while I wasn't even up to the MAIN wifely duty at that hour, I did put a good face on it and listen. I was, admittedly, just a titch grumpy, so at first I thought I'd not heard him correctly. Reluctantly, I asked him to repeat himself. Yes, there it was. He really was mentioning the moral improvement of, I kid-you-not, "ladies of the evening!" What a hoot! I burst out laughing. He blushed to the very roots. "LADIES OF THE EVENING?" I swear the dogs were snickering! He got a bit huffy as he is want to do at such times, but I ask you? Apparently he actually sees this as a societal problem today--at a time in which teenagers are posting porn of themselves he's worried about the ones doing it for cold hard cash? Well, my lack of appreciation for his grasp of society's ills earned me a cold look and a flounce out worthy of Edith! Another of Granny's pet peeves, I suppose, but then again I always thought she found them rather hilarious--especially when august gentlemen of the realm were caught with their knickers down while in the company of one!

With Dear One off blaring Purcell (at least I think it was Purcell--finishing school was so long ago and I was usually a bit hungover on music appreciation morning (Monday)--on his beloved "hi-fi," so the dogs and I let it go and snuggled back down for several blissful hours of catching up OUR beloved 'Street (which I will NOT call 'Corrie,' that you!)



15 March 2014

With Dear One still in a snit over my laughter at his Victorian outrage meaningful dialogue on societal ills, I slept well, albeit with only the dogs for company, and awoke realizing the need to make myself scarce. It happens. Marriage gets to us all from time-to-time. You see there can be the infamous 'three' in just about any marriage and, often as not, it isn't another actual person in the way. In our case, depending on which of us you query, it's either his desire to be Prime Minister (there, I've said it!) or my inability to take anything seriously except fags, cigarettes, gin, my Grands, my dogs and horses (ouch!). When this "trinity" gets in the way of marriage, its best to be busy. That's the secret of long marriages--the couples were busy! The Downton line of "we don't get to see as much of each other as we'd like," if you will. Why Mummy would quite have gone MAD if Daddy hadn't had shooting, wouldn't she? So, I go off with the girls on a  cruise now-and-then, or retreat to my own  bolt-hole with a stack of good books and my riding boots or Dear One goes off to paint somewhere and lick his wounds. In short order, we begin to realize something is missing--our spouse. Then we start all over at enjoying each other

So, in that spirit I went down to the Mausoleum early. I surprised the daughter-in-law and picked up the Grands so they could go out for a jolly late lunch and have an afternoon of fun. Back home the children were angels and really LOVED dressing up in Dear One's beloved Windsor Uniform, trying on his Garter Sash and all the rest of it! Such cute snaps on the iPad. We cuddled under the extra proper Pooh blanket and watched the Thomas the Tank Engine dvd that has the episode Dear One dislikes and moved on to Bob the Builder and that new American series the Bubble Guppies. What fun!! We ate ice lollys--the Filipino Kitchen Maid makes them from juice--she's such a lamb! I kept them wide awake and moving so Mummy and Daddy could put them in cold storage bed early!  After they left the dogs and I watched more of the 'Street with a lovely huge g & t and a screaming hot Madras curry!



16 March 2014

Phone call from Yummy. Utterly gobsmacked by the press attaching her and the Boy for jetting off on a holiday without Baby and over the idiotic stories of cost-overruns, bad purple paint and whatever on their new homes. From the brittle tone, I'm guessing she's back to her all celery diet. I assured her the press was a fickle mistress and that she must simply read nothing but the conservative press and ignore the tabloids. But, she continued, they published a BAD photo of her! (The horror!) I told her that I'd endured photos of my hair blown strait up, of my skirt strait up, of bra straps that weren't meant to show showing and didn't even go into bathing suit territory. But, in the photo....(sobs) her hair looked........(ridiculous sobs) DRAB. I sat down. Hard. She cried. I reminded her that cheap digital cameras could make anything drab, but that PROTEIN would cure that! Have a huge steak and make sure the chef melts some butter over it. She was impressed. "Steak will cure the bad camera thing?" "Oh yes...." She told the Boy. He cheered and suggested that lobster also had protein. I agreed. Day Saved by One! It's always up to One.


17 March 2014

Dear One home. A bit frosty, but we've got the Royal Round tomorrow and its too much of a hassle from the country. Normally I do the whole nicey-nicey thing and have a Downton Dinner, but my heart wasn't in it. Roast chicken on trays in the front of the tv and I kept the remote. He had to endure the 'Street (I'm simply ages behind so that's that!) or eat alone. I didn't even put on make-up. Just jeans, trainers and an old Army fleece of the ex's. Just to show two can play at that game he changed into pajamas SWMNBN had given him. Mind you, sitting was roughish--he's expanded in recent years, but as the next-in-line-to-the-Crown-jewels weren't likely to be called upon, he could feel suitably smug. He slept in his dressing room, but I stayed up reading a marvelous old Barbara Cartland I found in an antique hatbox in the front cloakroom. "To Darling Dickie, love Barbara...." it said in the flyleaf. Uncle Dickie must have left it here when Arthur Connaught was in residence! Not likely Dear One's Granny had him over for tea!


18 March 2014

Together for the Royal Round today. A bit tense, but nothing a bit of distance and some planned smiles at each other couldn't bridge. In the car on the way home, we'd both forgotten what the tift was about and had a lovely time discussing the hats a few Old Dears were wearing and the apoplectic looks a few star-struck folks were wearing--the usual rehash of a royal "do." Then we had a marvelous time tearing down Edith's recent spate of publicity, a knock or two at the Royal 'Rents (and just for good measure, a jab at Pushy) and finally a strategy session for bedtime tonight! What a hoot! Of course the chappy with the gold cords seated with the driver did give us a few odd looks thru the privacy pane, but that only made us laugh harder! Dear One had to fly into the house to have a pee once we were home. Poor lamb laughed so hard he nearly tinkled!


More Royal humor: What if Charles HAD married Camilla in the 1970s?

1 comment:

Susan said...

I agree with Milla's take that marriages require couples to stay "busy" :) And I love her advice to Kate! Heaven knows the girl could use a good steak.