Thursday, August 23, 2012

An Officer and a Gentleman?? Oh Harry!


You attended arguably the best secondary school on the planet (after necessarily repeating a year of school before hand and, very likely, having the rules "stretched" to allow you in, but since it was soon after your mother's tragic death I'll not criticize that), have watched your parents be tortured in the press for their indiscretions (can we EVER bleach your father's "career ambition" to be a certain "paper product" from our brains??), got caught dressed as a NAZI by someone with a sneaky little camera and you STILL don't get it??? At almost age 30???


Granted, dear, you are unmarried and you DID actually have to show up on time every day to watch the Olympics. You even had to give a speech and endure being called by your baptismal name, "Henry." We were all proud of you that night. THAT was so exhausting that you needed a quick trip to Vegas? And, at 27, you had no more brains that to get so trashed you FORGOT about CELL PHONES WITH CAMERAS while you were busy boozing and playing no-clothes pool?? Sorry Captain Wales, but what happens in Vegas only stays in Vegas if you know the folks you are playing naked pool with!


Darling, have you heard what happened to Auntie Sarah? She's known here as "Fergie."
Seems like, except for Uncle Andrew and the girls, no one in your family really entertains Auntie Sarah much anymore, do they??

  How about Great-Great Uncle David (the Windsor one, not the Bowes-Lyon one, but since more than one person is on record calling him a "nasty little sod," he probably did stupid things, too). Sweetheart, Uncle David was sent into permanent exile and he kept his clothes (mostly) on in public! 

Or Great-Great Uncle Georgie? Georgie was killed in a plane crash, but since his papers have never been opened for historians a lot of interesting theories have evolved to "explain" that crash. (But, then, sadly, you are very familiar with such theories and know they hurt they can cause.) 

We won't even discuss the escapades in your sainted Mother's family...... And, yes, I will grant you that Uncle Andrew DID get away with swimming naked in with a girl in his youth, but he's Granny's favorite and rank has it's privileges.

How many other officers would keep their commissions if something like this hit the Daily Mail's front page??? (Well, aside from the Duke of Westminster who wrote those funny checks to young women, but he's a T.A. and not Regular Army.) For that matter, how many officers are there in today's Royal Army with your poor grades and lack of a University degree??  Who had to take TWO gap years before heading to Sandhurst?  (Who had that ridiculous scandal about your Art Teacher actually doing helping a little too much with your A Level art project?) We were just starting to see you as a MAN and now you've run backwards into the worst sort of Frat Rat (or, since it's Vegas, should I say RAT PACK?) behavior! AND, all of this while your Grandfather was in the hospital! He and Granny just do not need this--nor do you!

Oh Harry! Please GROW UP. And, please, don't take your pants off except at home or the doctor's office--and even then have the detective check the place out to be sure, ok?? FYI--your security detail publicly called you a "Nightmare" today in the Telegrah! And, if the Suits at the Palace mention or even ARRANGE a marriage--now just might be the time to take them up on it and make up your mind to LOVE her whoever she is (and you do seem to know what "in love" means)  be faithful to her even if she's a size 8. Learn from your parents' disasters. GROW UP. Think of someone other than yourself for once.
Sadly, I imagine your Mother and Uncle Charles Spencer are smiling--you've tweaked the image of your father and grandmother. Like your mother you seem to have the idea that the people love you and forgive you anything if next week you just pose moist-eyed with sick children. That's not how the world works. Tons of people have had parents killed and gone on to be ADULTS. We can't keep seeing you as the little lad who took his Daddy's hand when looking at the flowers outside the gates of Balmoral and thinking "Poor little chap." You aren't a poor little chap. You are a MAN.

Sadly, too, there's an "element" (there is always an "element") who are saying "Good on you, Harry!" and seeing you as one of the "lads."  Problem is, you AREN'T one of the lads--in case you missed it you are both a Prince and an Officer. 

And the House of Windsor has an alarming problem with second sons becoming king. Do you even know that your great and great-great grandfathers were both king and both were second sons? (Yes, I know Great-Great had a tattoo--but he didn't let it interfere with duty, ok?) Then there's that troublesome fact that you are nearly 30 and still behaving like a sophomore at the Tappa Neu Keg Frat House. It's time to wear clothes except in the shower and need I add you should be showering alone?? And, it's also time to party DISCREETLY like an adult, preferably at home with old family friends who don't blab and sell photos to the supermarket tabloids and sleazy websites. I thought that was the point of Sandringham and Balmoral anyway. Away from those "Enquiring Minds" that "Want to Know...." I'd hate to see what you post on your FACEBOOK page!

The country has spent a fortune protecting you since birth and, lately, training you to be an effective Army Officer. It's also trusting you with a fortune called a helicopter and an immeasurable fortune in brother officers and other ranks lives. Today I hope you are treated like "any other officer" and given the appropriate punishment for "Conduct Unbecoming an Officer." Oh, no worries, I know you are not the only army officer to do such things. The problem is you are the one the whole world recognizes and can point a finger at. What a way to show everyone your dedication to "duty."

It's up to you Mr. Wales. I admit, I adore you like so many others. I have a son very much like you. But you do have a responsibility to your family and nation to be dutiful and to behave appropriately. I'm sure at least one headmaster mentioned the Bible verse on "to those much is given......" Time to listen. Most of all though, you owe yourself some self respect. Need I say this is not the way to earn that?

No get up to Balmoral and sincerely apologize to Granny. And don't tell Grandpa the juicy details until Granny takes the corgis out, ok?

1 comment:

Susan said...

Love, love, love. You are right on and you're smart enough to have all the details right (I learned a few things here -- gee, his schooling has had some interesting moments!). I, too, can imagine Diana and her brother looking on and feeling a bit of glee that Harry is sticking it to the Windsors. Thing is, I don't think that's his intent. He's just not smart or forward-thinking enough to avoid embarrassing behavior. He is entertaining, but for the sake of his family and his country, I do hope he grows up soon.