Monday, June 06, 2011

Really? Wow.....Oh Sarah......

Photo: Getty Images

Back in the mid 80s when Sarah Ferguson, the FIRST "Fergie," hit the royal scene, I for one, was a big fan. She was "normal!" She was a real-sized woman, not a stick woman who lived on water and lettuce. She had fun! She and her Prince--Andrew--seemed to really LIKE and love each other. A nice change from Charles and Diana who never seemed to have met each other even after a few years of marriage and two kids. Sarah was the proverbial "breath of fresh air."

But then her love of life got her in trouble--she blamed the "establishment" for keeping "her boy" at sea all but 40 days of the year. (Hello? He was a serving navy officer when you met him....) The guy in the photos sucking her toes? Her financial adviser!!! Right......(wink, wink). Then there were the unfortunate photos of her standing in the row of citizens waving as the Queen went by--with her little daughters. Then there was her autobiography in which she wrote of her love of food. Then there were the books on her Daddy--which discussed his love of other women.

But worst of all was a likely betrayal. She and Diana [thru Andrew Morton] hinted at a discussion of mutual divorce. Fergie being gullible and Diana being shrewd, Fergie went first. She got a lousy settlement, but seemingly kept her Prince. For all that Parliament and the Press can find tons of fault with Andrew, I'd say he has to be among the most loyal and forgiving men ever to draw breath. Fergie, for most of her post-divorce life, has lived mostly with her ex and their daughters. They take vacations together and show up for lunches and dinners together at restaurants and at school award days. They are friends. Very much different from the "War of the Wales".... However odd the arrangement, the Yorks [aka Andrew and Sarah] have raised two decent daughters.
Photo from

These days, however, Sarah has become a sad, comic-shadow of her former self. Yes, her eating IS under control now, but that's about it. Her debts have skyrocketed and she keeps blaming everyone else for her troubles. Now she's made a series about her self [a sort of emotional "Becoming Chad Bono," if you will] on, where else?--Oprah's tv network. [You can read more about it HERE.] In this multi-part "series" she tells how her mother hated her and hit her, her Dad ridiculed her and, sob, sob, sob for 12 years she was denied Christmas with her girls because the Queen wanted them with her instead. I'm afraid this "series" will put PAID to any possible rehabilitation Sarah may have been hoping for in the Royal Family once the Queen and Philip pass on.
Photo from

Here's what I want to say to Sarah:

Dear Sarah,

It's time for some really tough love. Why are you making such a spectacle of yourself? If you really do love Andrew and the girls, you will just say NOTHING more about any facet of your life. You are endangering your girls' future credibility. Since they will NOT be "working royals," but rather "royals who must work," you need to get over it and get out of the way. Dr. Phil can certainly help you--but much better to do so OFF CAMERA. The girls must want to cringe and hide when they hear you whining about everything, blaming everyone for all the hurt and wrong in your life. The way to have self-respect is not to blame everyone in the world, but to step-up-to-the-plate and tackle your problems honestly and privately.

Look at what your antics have gotten you? A divorce from a man you still claim to love, no warm welcome in your own country, massive debts run up in self-pity which you cannot just quietly work out, loss of police protection for your daughters and far more scrutiny from Westminster for your husband than he would have had without you as well as putting your relationship with your daughters put severely at risk. Is it worth MORE hurt and more pain just to get the world to see your tears?

Since you are mostly in America start over "over here." Grow up! Americans love the Royal Family to a point--we don't pay for them. Also, we have the Kennedys and the Bush family. They've been enough to pay for. As for you, Go back to college like many another divorce mom here does--even at 50+. Yes--get a degree! People will start taking you just a tiny bit more seriously. Take a Dave Ramsey class and follow it to success. Get a real job. Even STARBUCKS is a starting place.

Then your really personal life: Decide if you are in a monogamous relationship with Andrew or not. If not--that's it. Most your gear out of his home and set up a tiny cheap apartment in New Jersey for yourself. Then learn to say "no."
Start by saying "no" to yourself. Keep a very, very low profile. EARN our respect back while you re-gain your self-respect. No more internationally-televised pity parties! Be an adult. I doubt your ex-in-laws will change their minds on you, holidays, etc., so just suck it up and deal with it. Most divorced parents have to deal with the same thing. Only, they get over it already!

1 comment:

Susan said...

I agree with this! I, too, loved the 'breath of fresh air' Sarah, and have been annoyed at her personal the past decade or so. Everything she does just seems to scream desperation anymore.