Quivering Daughters, Reading Notes Part II: Comparisons with the original "Quiverfull" movement--the pre-Vatican II Catholic Church

The giveaway of the BIG BOOK OF FREEZER COOKING is HERE [be sure to leave a NAME!!!]


As I am reading Hillary's deeply moving and emotional prose, I am reminded that the Bible tells us:

"What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun." (Ecc. 1:9)

Many of the people in this movement would likely be dismayed by this comparison, but Quiverfull is a "been there, done that, got the therapy" moment for many Roman Catholics. Until the Vatican II in the mid-1960s, Catholics were basically expected to live as the Quiverfull folks do--letting God open and close the wife's womb. Yes, the could use "natural family planning," but there is a reason people are said to "practice" the "rhythm method"--no one perfects it. Those of us who grew up before the pill was the norm [even into the early 70s] remember "that" family with "all those kids." Except possibly in Utah, that meant a Catholic family. A troop of kids with Saint's names--such as the 11 children of Senator Robert F. Kennedy [before his untimely death] gleamed their teeth and freckles at us from the pages of Life and Look magazines. Happy, healthy active--and just as deceptive as the Duggars and other such families today. Quiverfull families today might take a lesson from the trouble's Ethel Kennedy apparently had after her husband's murder. No amount of money, no matter how many uncles you have, death of a parent upsets the apple cart.

Sometimes, it takes less than that. Hillary movingly writes of one of the major downsides to the Quiverfull--ATI/IBLP-"Cult of Character" families: negative self-worth among the children and parents. Why? Legalism, authoritarianism, "cult of personality"[Daddy], idol worship [character, the role of the father], repression [the "keep sweet" mentality]. Even Jesus "frequently sought solitude" (p. 83)--something never granted in the large, authoritarian families prized by the far-right Christian patriarchal families of today. Closed doors or time alone are usually forbidden--they may lead to sin.

"An Authoritarian, performance-based family who trains through coercion--such as withholding love, affection, acceptance, or approval to manipulate behavior--creates an environment that can't help but keep household members at a heightened state of stress. A demanding or fear-based atmosphere requires constant adrenaline for survival mode, keeping one perpetually 'on edge' through fight-or-flight syndrome."

Another book, that seems to have missed the rounds of bloggers on big families, shows us what happens in a big family when all of the things big families should be become "too much" for the parents who created the family. That book is FOURTEEN, aptly subtitled "Growing Up Alone in a Crowd," by Stephen Zanichowsy.


Zanichowsy tells the story of growing up in a large Catholic family in which his Father would not allow his mother to ask even relatives for help with their ever-growing family. His mother, severely depressed by lack of control over any area of her life, is "unavailable" to her children in even the most basic ways. Father, contrary to today's Quiverfull teaching of family business, was a successful engineer who eventually even moved the family to another state. Food is a problem--the children have mostly boiled eggs to eat and relish the one day per week when their one egg is cooked the way they want it. Totally beyond their sick mother's control, the boys are locked in their bedroom at night to keep them corralled. Two of the children, are "afflicted" as their mother terms it, and finally are sent away. The trauma is made worse when they leave the "old neighborhood" where the parents grew up and move into a huge house in an affluent area. The kids develop neurosis and deviant behaviors in response to lack of any meaningful expressions of caring or love by their parents.

FOURTEEN, to me, is where Gothard and others got their idea of parents of huge families "working themselves out of a job" by placing the burden of raising these huge families onto the young shoulders of, especially, the eldest daughters. The idea of "training" to be a wife and mother [which is absurd] thus takes the burden of care off the parents, who are then reasonably "free" to enjoy only their marriage and creating more children. FOURTEEN also, sadly, shows me what will happen to many of these families. Coercion to conform, endless lectures on sin, etc, will have the desired effect--it will raise sin-obsessed children who hate religion. With a dominant, controlling figure [Daddy] at the head of the family, children will be endlessly competing for the crumbs of attention he is able to give. Mother, constantly focused on delivering the next blessing [and often too sick to be any use to the family] abdicates her responsibility to immature daughters who can't yet care fully for themselves. In short, a recipe for disaster.

For those who wonder, YES, at least one or two [can't remember exact numbers] of the children in the FOURTEEN family were arrested or had a host of other problems adjusting to society. One or two came out as gay or lesbian. Nor is the family, apparently, close now. Most of the kids, it appears, just plain fled to lick their wounds and heal. In the opening of the book, the author recounts that the mother's funeral was only the 2nd time in THIRTY years that all the surviving kids had been together. I wonder, how today's Quiverfull kids, raised in strict isolation with only siblings and MAYBE a few "approved" friends in carefully controlled, well-supervised, group settings, will turn out?

Although their is a Catholic "wing" of the Quiverfull movement, today Catholics have families of "normal" size---for a reason. Too many were raised by parents who did not get the necessary love and attention growing up.

Jim-Bob and Michelle, it's too late for you--the KID FARM video was right: You are only able to speak of your children as individuals in terms as vague as a fortune cookie's message. Josh and Anna--it's not too late for you. Give McKynzie a chance--have many fewer children than your parents did. Give her freedom to close her door and THINK. Let her make the decisions about her own future. If nothing else, read FOURTEEN.

For my first post on the book Quivering Daughters, click HERE.

For more information on the Quiverfull movement click HERE.