Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Another Open Letter to the Duggars, Bates & TLC Crew

Dear Jim-Bob and Michelle,

First, I want to tell you that little Josie is in my prayers. Such a sad little baby, struggling so much. It's hard to watch, but I'm hoping for the best and praying for God's Will in her life.

I've watched this season when I can find the episodes free. You truly have inspired me to try to keep my finances under control [I'm still failing at that, but I am working much harder on it thanks to you--I mean that.] I also want to thank you again for the conversations you've started between me and my two teens. Both have spent a good deal of time in public school and out of the house, so it's been really good that they have heard your message on modesty in dress and on waiting for "the one". [I truly am being sincere.] It is interesting to discuss what God really wants for them and this has all come out of watching your show together.

I am happy your kids now have the experience of going to an integrated Church now [and here I mean racially, socio-economically integrated not the so-called "family integrated church" the Vision Forum folks so idolize.] How are you dealing with the contradictions of how this Church worships with dance-like movement, contemporary praise music and the like? I've also noticed ELECTRIC guitars in your home--has Mr. Gothard decided there can be appropriate uses for them now? I wonder, Jim-Bob, as the Head of the Family, if you could kindly explain how these are used in your home?

You do very well with modest dressing. I like the fact that your girls try to look "current" but hold to their/your standards of modesty. It's nice and, although we are not skirt-only gals, my daughter and I do admire this. Michelle, this question is for you: elsewhere on my blog I debated, using your example, of whether cheerleading is an ok thing for a Godly young lady to do. Recently I have allowed my daughter to join her public school cheerleading squad. This is not my choice at all, but I felt she needed the experience to see just why I do not think it's worth while. Other than just plain forbidding it and forcing the point of obedience to parental authority, how would YOU explain it to her? Since you were allowed to freely choose to be a cheerleader, what would you say to my daughter from your own experience that could change her mind? So you can be assured that not all public school parents are that different from you, another Mom voiced my concern about the immodesty of the uniform.

My son turns 16 this fall. He has been impressed to see John David starting a business. My son struggles with the authority structure at school so much so that I've returned him to homeschool. I think a small business would be an excellent idea for him. I am curious to learn if John David had to save up money from odd jobs or if he used money from appearances on the show to pay for his tow truck, insurance and other equipment. He really IS a good role model for my son and I'm grateful to him for his quiet decency. I understand Mr. Gothard believes adult children should live at home until marriage. I honestly have no problem with that if the adult child agrees and saves nearly every buck he earns for the future. I assume John is saving for a house for his future wife and family. I was happy to see he is going on a mission trip. It's awesome your kids have had these opportunities to see the world and to see how the other half live. It would be nice if he could have gone with a different organization, just to hear a different point of view, but it's still more travel and experience than most Americans will ever have.

I return now to the question of modesty. Jim-Bob, as Head of the Family, this is a question for you. How is it modest to engage in all the kissing [and from Josh and Anna it's often R rated kissing] on national tv? Yes, I understand you are married and can do this. Still, it defrauds me every time you do. Defrauds because I'm a divorced Christian who has chosen not to remarry since that would be un-Biblical [that and I can't find a decent man]. This is just getting really gross and old. Did you really put in your contract 2 kisses on screen per show? It seems that way. I'm happy for the example of lasting love in marriage, but a less tactile way of expressing it would be appreciated. Enough talk about sex--in whatever euphemistic terms you choose. Most of us don't think about it nearly as much as you seem to. We have figured out that there's a time and a place and national tv is neither.

Michelle, this question is for you. I'm also an out-numbered Mom, albeit not nearly as much as you are. How can you stand in front of the cameras and say the girls are merely taking up the slack while you man the milk bar and hang out in the NICU? Come on lady--Queen Elizabeth did more for her children than you do for yours. Stop pretending. Your home would be a shambles if those four big girls, and now poor Joy-Anna, weren't at the helm doing all the illegal immigrant work. I find it interesting that Bill Gothard promotes the Sue Gregg cookbooks of very nourishing food, yet your family lives on crap you can buy at any gas station mini-mart. I'm sure there are some decent meals in your home and that the editors make it look like you live on tater tots and canned peas, but really, how is that little Josie going to get strong on the MSG and sodium filled skim milk you pump for her? Maybe eating whole grains, real red meat and even liver as well as salads full of fresh veggies and a fruit smoothie, might give her a tad more nutrients? I say this with apologies to Jana, Jessa, Jill and Jinger [sorry, but I always think her names rhymes with "finger"] who will have to cook it all. Perhaps little Jamesy-bug could calm down a little with more protein, no soda pop, and more vitamins and minerals? Just a thought.

Now about schooling. With my son the way he is about school I'm the first to say that a GED is not the end of life! And, while parking your kids in front of a computer all day is no worse than any public alternative school or GED program, real homeschooling is about interaction. It's about great literature, about hands-on projects. It's not just computer and field trips that often have no relevance to what is being studied. I find it remarkable that you view each field trip as "one size fits all" and that Jordyn and Joseph should be interested in the same things. I heartily applaud you for getting out and exploring things, but really, do you ever do a trip that goes with what the kids are actually studying? Lets say James is studying "our community" in social studies--pretty typical for his age--couldn't Daddy or big sister or Uncle whoever take JUST HIM to meet the city planner or something? I like to hope the trip to the blood bank coincided with blood-typing in biology for someone or something like that. Do you kids ever READ? I have a very reluctant reader so I know this isn't always worth the fight, but seriously do they read anything not featured in the Vision Forum catalog?

College is another fascinating topic. On your TLC blog, Michelle you hinted that the girls are exploring further music studies and nursing. I applaud Gil and Kelly Bates for letting their very talented daughter Erin go to a local college for a music class. Even though it has to be in the top 2% of most conservative Christian colleges it's still new people and new experiences. I was not surprised to note on Mr. Gothard's IBLP web site that an advanced music program is among the offerings of that organization. How surprising then that you were "ok" with it. About nursing and midwifery, other topics you mention on your blog--gee I was shocked to find IBLP has a program in midwifery and offers preliminary nursing studies--whatever that may be. Too bad that you can't place them in God's protection and trust them to just go to a local college and get their necessary qualifications. God really will protect them. Green hair is so out of style anyway that you need not worry about a courtship developing with such a guy. If you did train them up in the way they should go they will NOT depart from it.

Josh and Anna, while I gag at your kissing and want to scream when Anna says Josh is "babysitting" his own child, you don't seem to be doing too badly. I think it's sad that out of all the choices in the world, Josh, that you picked lying for a living [i.e. selling used cars] as your "way to provide." All those years of Wisdom Booklets really paid off--didn't they? I'd love to hear that now that you are the Umbrella of Authority in your home, that you've decided a business degree from the University of Arkansas might be worth your time. I doubt it though. Anna, you seem to have not lost your own personality and spirit like I thought you would. Good for you!!! I hope you nurse your babies longer than you m-i-l and that you are therefore able to have fewer, more widely spaced births. Remember to encourage Josh to think for himself and not just do what Daddy did. Nobody really wants to run a car lot or mini-mart these days--help him find something else to do, but be a good wife and make him think it's his idea, ok?

Gil and Kelly Bates, I like what I see of your family. It appears your daughters and sons do, in fact, "help" at home rather than run the house and raise the other kids. I think it's tragic that your daughter Erin can't go to a real music school, but she is old enough to know her own mind and no viewer would believe her if she said she really was ok with it. Somehow, from your kids, I would believe them--they seem to be allowed a little more independent thought and may actually have been able to decide for themselves if the life you lead is for them. I could be wrong, they could be very good actors and actresses. Be very wary of being on the show more than you are and remember Mrs. Regan's advice to "Just Say No" if the pay-off for the big house is doing your own show. It's worth life-staggering amounts of debt to pass up this incredible "offer." Although I imagine the "college level" studies your son is supposedly pursuing [or was pursuing] are from IBLP/ATI, I wonder if Erin's time at the local Christian College might not be something you'd allow her younger siblings to try in their time. I also have to say I think your little guy Jackson is the cutest kid ever on tv! What a doll!

Now to Sean and the other staff of "19 Kids and Counting:" We get it. You want to portray the Duggars as uncouthed hillbillies so you keep showing little kids picking their noses, saying stupid things like "teached"for taught and "good" for "well" and running around like the Cornish Pixies in the Harry Potter movies. We, your viewers, are sick and tired of bodily functions, clogged toilets, emptying septic tanks, pooping on Daddy's lap, vomiting, peed beds, and open mouthed chewing. Got it? For all that they are snark-worthy, the Duggar's bodily functions should not be shown.

I am sure you could write an equal letter on my parenting and my failings! Feel free. I look forward to next season.

Your Truly,

Hopewell

P.S. You can read my earlier letter to the Duggars here.

To learn more about the Duggars and the Quiverfull movement go to my other blog A Quiver Full of Information

50 comments:

Marybeth said...

What utter rubbish. Speaking as a Jewish, pro-choice, pro-gay marriage woman who is anything BUT what the Duggars seem to stand for...everything you have written is utter rubbish. I weep for your children.

PersonalFailure said...

Really? Themed field trips are "utter rubbish"? Girls being allowed to be children instead of slave labour is "utter rubbish"? Astounding.

Sunny said...

Very well stated!

Anonymous said...

I can't imagine what it is like to live life in a fisbbowl so to speak... Cut them some slack.

Lamb Chop said...

I say, have all the babies you want, as long as you are able to support them ALL (financially and emotionally).

I HATE that the older Duggar children have been forced to "play Mommy" to the herd of younger children. The parents chose to have a million kids and it is not right, in any form, for them to push all the responsibility off on the elder children.

I, also, have the feeling that the ONLY reason they are thinking of allowing the older girls to take "classes" in nursing is so that little Josie will have a built-in nurse.

Anonymous said...

I believe you will be embarrassed by this post later in life. Why would you spend so much time tearing down someone? Did your parents teach you to do this?

Anonymous said...

Seriously, If you don't like the Duggars don't watch them!!!! I can't stand people like you!!

Verity said...

^

"Seriously, If you don't like the Duggars don't watch them!!!!"

That's a poor argument IMO, along with the argument: 'Don't criticise *insert celebrity name here*, you're just jealous!'

Duggars represent a lifestyle which is lived by many people and which in itself is not bad but often descends into abuse when taken to the extremes and lived by the wrong people.

"I can't stand people like you!!"

People like what? People who are socially aware?

Is it mean in your opinion to care about stuff like, rampant child abuse in communities of sheeple where victims are silenced?

If it's outside our little bubble of life, then we're not supposed to care?

Verity

Susan said...

Ooh Lisa - I think you've hit a nerve! I love to read your Duggar-fare - it really brings out your spirit :) While I am certainly conflicted about the Duggars (especially with Josie's dire situation and the speculation that Michelle may be pregnant again), I just can't hate on them much - they really do seem wholesome and "real" to me, despite their being quite different from mainstream America, that's for sure. I've shared a lot of the thoughts you've presented here, though.

Hopewell said...

I think some of you miss the parts where I praise them for somethings they do and for the positive impact they have made on my finances and with my teens! The Duggars are free to offer an open letter to me--especially if I ever put my life out on national tv!

Anonymous said...

They are decent people, if you don't like them, don't watch!

Anonymous said...

Hopewell,

Just because you offer for them to tear you down doesn't mean it is right to tear someone else down. Just because you say a few good things about someone doesn't mean you get to say bad things about that person. Not too mention, you don't even know them. You are fooling yourself if you think you do. You think you can watch even 15 (15 episodes) hours of a person's life and know them? You are fooling yourself. I'm sorry you think that thinking and saying these things is good.

Jeanne said...

Wish we could get this series in Oz. I would love to watch it with you by my side...

The comments here are very funny!! Chuckle! Lisa, you are a card!

roddma said...

Yes there are some good things about them. What she means is the Duggar supporters won't take of their rose colored glasses for one second. Everyone has faults. I was almost fooled by this happy-go-lucky family until I started reading up on Fundamentalism. Many have been scarred by these twisted over-the-top beliefs. Ironically I'm moderate pro-life, raised church of Christ, but disagree with 95 percent of their beliefs and the tactic they use to promote them. I thought the Church of Christ were strict lol. I sort of know how some of these Duggar children must feel. I was afraid to disagree with my parents. None of them have ever once questioned their faith. Have any of you read Razing Ruth's blog? She is an example of the damage it can do. So it is alright to tear the Gosselins apart when you see only a fraction of their lives on TV, And i guarantee many supporters on here wouldn't want to be raising their siblings at 20. I read an article which is clear ahout the effects reality tv has on children. Christian or not these kids need stability and not a camera following them around all the time.

Verity said...

I'm a Razing Ruth reader (and found this letter via No Longer Quivering)

Anonymous said...

I'm not wearing "rose colored glasses" I just don't like when people bash others they don't even know.

The comments made in this blog post start out sounding like this person has resepct for the Duggars which clearly she does not & it's just a satirical piece of writing meant to be demeaning. Shaming, demeaning & belittling is that how you teach? You allowed your daughter to take part in something you didn't approve of to show her why you don't approve? Would you let her start smoking so she can see the errors of that way too? People have different parenting styles & I could rip up everyone here with just the few sentences given but in reality *I don't know you* just like you all *don't know the Duggars*. There are issues with abuse within every religion & every different variation but we don't condem everyone & anything that is connected to it. And I have to wonder if the original blogger here or even the commenters that are so ready to bash a family they know nothing about invest as much time in a positive manner? I mean what is to gain on this blog, do you think you're going to "reach the Duggars" & they're going to wake up & change their ways? Should we ALL be checking with you to see how you raise your child so we can all immulate you? See how sarcastic comments can be snarky??? They're hurtful & so far the one thing we've not see the Duggars do is bash others even while explaining why they do things their way.

Verity said...

"And I have to wonder if the original blogger here or even the commenters...invest as much time in a positive manner"

Yes, I have hopes of doing charity-work and starting an abused-people shelter someday. :-/

Since when is everything negative-spirited (for want of a better phrase) always wrong?

Again I say the Duggars are a squeaky-clean TV version of a type of community/family lifestyle which can become extremely wrong (more so than other lifestyles, because there can be entire communities of it, rendering any victim even more trapped). It's hardly "bashing".

"I could rip up everyone here with just the few sentences given"
Ehh :-/

Verity said...

Just thought of a better phrase. "Critical", not negative-spirited. xx

Hopewell said...

Jeanne--got to YouTube and search for 17 or 18 or "19 Kids and Counting" depending on the season--lots of episodes are there free. Also on www.tlc.com click on the 19 Kids and Counting link under SHOWS or VIDEO

roddma said...

Excuse me I'm not bashing Just pointing out cons There are pros and cons of every thing. If anything, Im very critical of legalism and over the top Christianity but this is nothing against the family themselves. I think the parents are just misguided on religious matters.

Hopewell said...

Well said roddma.

Leonie said...

Wow, Lisa, you have stirred up a hornet's nest here!!

Anonymous said...

You are mean spirited! You call yourself a Christian. Who are you to judge this family? I keep this family in my prayes, they choose to live as they do, GOOD FOR THEM!

Verity said...

Mmm, why don't you try keeping in your prayers the women, children and adult who suffer abuse in families horribly similar to this one?

Wait, did you just doubt the faith of every person who disapproves of what the Duggars do, and then reprimand us for judging in the same breath? v_v

coulrophobic agnostic said...

High five for you, blogger.

Michelle is not a good mother. Mother of the Year my rear end. I'm not a religious person, but I'm well enough acquainted with the Bible (a friend of mine is a minister, and I have nothing but respect for the kind and generous Christians in the world) to know that there's nothing in there about making your children be your slave labor while you smile placidly into space.

I have nothing but love for Jana through Josie, but Michelle and JimBob are putting their desires ahead of their kids' needs, then blaming it on "God's will." That is most certainly NOT Christian. And your children should NOT be screaming for Jana or "Dill" when they're sick or frightened. If you or your spouse are/is not your child's number one support person, you're doing it wrong or just have too damn many kids.

I'll cut Michelle some slack when she gets her tubes tied and pays attention to the kids she has AFTER they're old enough to be mobile.

Again, I have absolutely no problems with the children themselves. I adore each and every one of them and I hope to heck they live happy, productive lives.

Poor Josie said...

Not rubbish at all. Slavery was abolished for a reason, and the mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Those poor uneducated children run around like maniacs and the older ones are left to pick up all the pieces (well, Jill is, because the others have had enough child rearing of their mother's children) while the milk cow expresses milk and incubates #20.

There is nothing to love here. These are money grubbing people who sold out their privacy for a big paycheck. We can ALL criticize their very immodest and immoral actions.

Anonymous said...

For those who are so infuriated and tell the OP that if she doesn't like the show, don't watch it and most of all, don't comment on it -- I am left wondering why you are not taking your own advice and simply not read/comment on this blog.

To the blog writer -- I thought you were extremely respectful in your blog. I too have wondered about many of these same things. How can the Duggars proclaim their modesty, yet kiss so much for the camera, have Michelle sitting on JimBob's lap, and making veiled references to sexual intercourse. It's neither appropriate nor modest.

I certainly don't weep for your children. Sounds to me like you have a good relationship with your kids, one where open communication is important and encouraged, and where you take into consideration that your children are individuals who may or may not fit into a preconceived notion of what they should be/want to be.

I too hope that Anna subtly encourages Josh to think beyond running a used car lot and to reach for his dreams. Surely he still has some and he is a young man. Now is still the best time to reach for those dreams and make choices based on what he wants, not what his father did before him.

Sadly, the Duggars don't seem to value individuality. My goodness, Mrs. Duggar spends so little time with her own children, I'm not sure she even really knows their individual likes and dislikes. It's the youngest ones I feel the worst for - left to the not-so-tender mercies of their slightly older siblings. When I see one of the little girls with a banged up face or forehead, I know she's been pushed/dropped/stepped on AGAIN by another unsupervised sibling.

You can be a person with a good heart and good intentions, yet still be selfish, ignorant and make poor decisions. While I neither hate nor despise Mr. and Mrs. Duggar, I lost the basic respect I had for them as parents once they got caught up in having babies beyond their capability to care and raise them. When the daughters were turned into free laborers, I became disgusted and nothing I've seen since has counter-acted that opinion. Making your children work full time as nannies, teachers and housekeepers is not a Christian value. It's called indentured servitude.

Angie said...

Great post Hopewell.

I am truly amazed by the number of people on here who are ordering you to stop watching the show and telling you how wrong you are for not worshipping the ground the Duggars walk on. I get the exact same reaction on my blog every time I criticize the Duggars. I'm not sure why people who love this family have such a hard time accepting that not everyone thinks they're great.

By the way, thanks for visiting my blog.

Anonymous said...

I used to be in the QF movement with the Duggar family. My family ran in the same circles as theirs. As soon as I hit 18 years of age ... I hit the road running because my father wanted to marry me off to a much older man and I wanted no part of it. My father and older brother came after me and tried to force me to return home. When I refused, they both beat me within an inch of my life and then they denounced me. Luckily for me, I had an aunt and uncle who were more than willing to take me in and allow me to live with them. They paid for schooling to catch me up to where I should be since my home schooling was laughable and then they paid for college.

I have not seen or spoken with my family in three years. What I can tell you about the Duggars is this ... what you see on the show is NOT always how it is. They pretty much hide the QF aspects of their life because they know how the extreme fundamentalist view would be received out in the open like that.

A few things you should know:

If one of those girls were to be caught hugging a man straight on instead of a one armed side hug, she would be punished severely. Likely with a strop several times on the backside, but also with hours spent in the prayer closet. And yes, the Duggar compound has a prayer closet. And yes, I was beaten for hugging my physician in the hospital after an appendectomy. Ruptured the stitches in my belly button (laprascopic surgery).

Female children can still be spanked by their father after they are married as long as their husband is in the room to watch it. They can be spanked for gossiping, for disobeying their husband, but usually for not 'keeping sweet'.

If Josie has any mental or physical disabilities she will not be given the opportunities she would be given elsewhere. Why? Because her disability is considered punishment for whatever and whoever perpetrated sin in the family. And trust me, they'll look for that sin a long, long time. How do I know this? My youngest (at the time I left home) brother was born with mental delays and I was beaten nearly daily because my father felt like I must have done something wrong since I was the oldest girl still at home at the time. My brother, to this day, is not included in family gatherings. He is kept in his room like a dirty secret.

There is a strong possibility that Jim Bob will be the one to put the engagement rings on his daughter. While they were fairly lenient with Josh and the hand holding with Anna, QF fathers are notoriously strict with their daughters. It would have been the responsibility of Anna's father to be strict over her. It's possible that Jim Bob will enforce a six inch rule and not allow the fiance to touch any part of the daughter, not even her hand.

If you do anything wrong in the QF movement then you are brought in front of the church elders who will decide your fate. My oldest brother, the one who beat me with my father's blessing, got caught with a cigarette in his pocket. He was given ten lashes with a razor strop on his bare back, he was forced to shave his head, and he spent twelve days (one for each disciple) in a darkened prayer closet. He was allowed out for fifteen minutes each day to use the restroom and was given bread and water to eat.

So before you sing the praises of the Duggars with too much reverence ... do a little research on what REALLY goes on in Fundamentalist churches.

If you have Netflix ... check out the movie 'Follow the Prophet'. It streams live if you are a subscriber ... you won't have to wait for the DVD to come in the mail. It's based on a true story and it will give you a fairly honest look into some branches of the Fundamentalist movement.

I count my lucky stars every day that I escaped with my life and had an aunt and uncle who loved me for me and not for what I could do for them or bring to them.

coulrophobic agnostic said...

To anonymous above me, re: your brother's head shaving.

Ever notice that after Josh was involved in the supposed molestation of the Holt girl he was betrothed to as a teenager, he had a shaved head? I strongly suspect he was sent to a "camp" or it was part of a similar punishment.

The Duggars used to be MUCH stricter with their kids. They seem to have given up now.

Hopewell said...

FYI--Josh's shaved head was seen in the special "16 Kids and Moving in"--the Holt family was not shown again after that, either.

Anonymous who used to be Quiverfull--do you have a blog?

Vidal Aponte said...

The one thing I do agree with is homeschooling. I worked for the school system for 15 years and I feel that if you are really dedicated you can home school your children and become very successful at it. The school system is not what it is cracked out to be, and today the kids are overwhelmed with taking so many tests that I feel for no reason. Tests should not be the main reason if kids are learning or not. This is why I endorse home schooling!

roddma said...

And if they weren't Christians I wonder if the supporters would then be calling them mindless bots and telling them to get the kids off tv. It is my understanding he was betrothed to a Holt girl and the engagement was broken over Duggar's support of Mike Huckabee. Noone knows for sure why Josh's head was shaved. Supporters try to come up with all sorts of reasons why he attended Alert Camp like training camp for boy scouts, bad hair cut, etc.. You don't go to alert camp for just boy scout training but for some 'sin'. When JB lost the election for senate, he blamed 'sin in the camp' and looked at Josh. As far as physical abuse as annonymous mentions, I don't think Grandma, Deanna, or Amy would stand idly buy and let that happen. I hope not anyway. They would most definitely lose viewers. Blanket training was removed from the site because it disturbed viewers. TLC has watered down some beliefs. Th DUggars claim not to be Quiverfull.

Elijah's Mama said...

Marybeth said...
What utter rubbish. Speaking as a Jewish, pro-choice, pro-gay marriage woman who is anything BUT what the Duggars seem to stand for...everything you have written is utter rubbish. I weep for your children.
1:19 PM


I'm familiar with this person from reading stuff about the Duggars online and let me just say, for somebody who is so religious and what have you, you certainly didn't have any problem being so hateful. I've noticed that about the pro-Duggar crowd..they claim to be so God-fearing, etc. and so on, yet the minute anybody says anything that doesn't go along with their way of thinking about the Duggars, they act like this and even worse. Don't get me wrong, I watch the show with my child. However that doesn't mean that I support every single thing the Duggars say and do..I don't remember who it was that said it, but they were right when they said that there's good and bad in everything. IMHO I think that makes a person a true fan of anything, including the Duggars, because at least they acknowledge the good and the bad and leave the blinders off when it comes to having a view about them.

Otherwise, great post on this subject..the open letter to the Duggars was very well-written and I agreed with it entirely :-)

Sign me as..

Jennifer
"Elijahs Mama" from TWoP

Verity said...

*Reading Marybeth's two-part "Psychology Of Duggar-Hating"*

...Oh LOL.

Elijah's Mama said...

Anonymous said...
I can't imagine what it is like to live life in a fisbbowl so to speak... Cut them some slack.
10:27 PM
Anonymous said...
I believe you will be embarrassed by this post later in life. Why would you spend so much time tearing down someone? Did your parents teach you to do this?
5:20 PM
Anonymous said...
Seriously, If you don't like the Duggars don't watch them!!!! I can't stand people like you!!
11:45 PM
Anonymous said...
They are decent people, if you don't like them, don't watch!
12:18 AM
Anonymous said...
Hopewell,

Just because you offer for them to tear you down doesn't mean it is right to tear someone else down. Just because you say a few good things about someone doesn't mean you get to say bad things about that person. Not too mention, you don't even know them. You are fooling yourself if you think you do. You think you can watch even 15 (15 episodes) hours of a person's life and know them? You are fooling yourself. I'm sorry you think that thinking and saying these things is good.
4:44 PM
Anonymous said...
I'm not wearing "rose colored glasses" I just don't like when people bash others they don't even know.

The comments made in this blog post start out sounding like this person has resepct for the Duggars which clearly she does not & it's just a satirical piece of writing meant to be demeaning. Shaming, demeaning & belittling is that how you teach? You allowed your daughter to take part in something you didn't approve of to show her why you don't approve? Would you let her start smoking so she can see the errors of that way too? People have different parenting styles & I could rip up everyone here with just the few sentences given but in reality *I don't know you* just like you all *don't know the Duggars*. There are issues with abuse within every religion & every different variation but we don't condem everyone & anything that is connected to it. And I have to wonder if the original blogger here or even the commenters that are so ready to bash a family they know nothing about invest as much time in a positive manner? I mean what is to gain on this blog, do you think you're going to "reach the Duggars" & they're going to wake up & change their ways? Should we ALL be checking with you to see how you raise your child so we can all immulate you? See how sarcastic comments can be snarky??? They're hurtful & so far the one thing we've not see the Duggars do is bash others even while explaining why they do things their way.
9:18 AM
Anonymous said...
You are mean spirited! You call yourself a Christian. Who are you to judge this family? I keep this family in my prayes, they choose to live as they do, GOOD FOR THEM!
3:06 PM


I didn't get to reply about these yesterday but I'm gonna get to it now.

I find it ironic that these people come on here, complain about what they read, act hateful and what have you..yet are too cowardly to bother with posting it under a name. I don't think I need to say more about them and their hypocrisy. They're entitled to think whatever they like just as much as the next person, but at least put your name behind it. JMHO.

Re. anonymous @ 5:48 PM..right on and I agree with your post 100% :-)Re. anonymous @ 12:19 AM..you are a very brave person to get out of a life like that and survive. I could imagine it would take a lot of strength to do that :-)

A. Martin said...

I love how most of the negative comments, complete with personal attacks aimed at you, are posted by “Anonymous.”

Even better are the posters who whine, “If you don’t like it, don’t watch” simply because they don’t like what you wrote but can’t tear themselves away.

The Duggars represent the whitewashed image of a grotesque sub-culture.

Oh, and Maybeth - She doesn't agree with the Duggars therefore she sucks and you weep for her children? Get a grip. Get a LIFE.

Anonymous said...

anon 12:19--you've written one long lie there--but you got confused. "Keep sweet" is from the FLDS, not from the QF movement. Nice try.

Elijah's Mama said...

Anonymous said...
anon 12:19--you've written one long lie there--but you got confused. "Keep sweet" is from the FLDS, not from the QF movement. Nice try.
6:56 PM


Thank you for proving the point that I had made about people coming on here bashing on other people and posting anonymously without having the integrity to sign their name to it. ;-)

offtoworkigo said...

I have to say that your advice to Anna to nurse her babies for a longer time so she won't get pregnant as often was truly way off the mark. Way off. My fertility returned in 6 weeks. 6 weeks. No bottles, full time breastfeeding a very hungry baby. 6 weeks. Women, if you're counting on this method as some sort of natural birth control...don't.

Hopewell said...

I know, but when you have nothing else to try for birth control or child spacing........ Thanks for stopping by!

Anonymous said...

Michelle Duggar was a cheerleader in high-school. She should a pic of herself many episodes ago. However I don't think she would let her girls be cheerleaders. Maybe I shouldn't say that, I don't know what she thinks, but that's the vibe I get from the show. Personally I think cheerleading is a great sport for fun, friends, and exercise. I wasn't a cheerleader in school, social stigmas of the day, but wanted to be one. I hope your daughter enjoys it.

Anonymous said...

Oh look, a snake figured out how to write a blog post!

ShutUp said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

I have watched the Duggars since the first time they were on tv. I am not talking bad about any of them because i don't know them personaaly, nor is it my place. But i do feel people have a right to express there opinions without fear of being made fun of or told they are wrong. I am sure the Duggars are great people but i just think enough is enough of the show. I also feel myself that not everyone gets along that good all the time. There are 21 people in that house and everytime the show is on everyone is just doing so great. I agree with the lady that said that not everyone has to think the Duggars are the greatest. We see what they want us to see. As for Josh and his molestation charges i don't know if its true or not and we won't know really. Josh seems to be the one who has the final say in his household and seems to be kind of arrogant to me sometimes. If Anna is happy and likes to be treated like she has no say thats her. This is an opinion i have from watching the Duggars. I like them as human beings they seem like such nice people but i wonder what really goes on behind closed doors.

KyRain said...

People, get serious! I sat here laughing as some of you "so called Christians" tore this family apart. Every kid should be so lucky as to be i that family. Afterall, this is for our etertainment. If they did nothing it would be too boring to watch. I believe we should clean up our own before we start judging others. If the Dugers left tv tomorrow, I would be very sad. Leave them alone and either watch or don't, but if you're going to watch, do so for etertainment purpose not to play God.

Anonymous said...

Yes!

Anonymous said...

I am concerned over the lack of bonding between mother and child. It disturbs me that the little ones run to big sis and will slip up and call her mom. Also I noticed the older girls when approachedby their dad seem 'wary' of him. Has anyone seen that or is it just me?I am thrilled however that the duggar family seem so wholesome! I do feel sorry for Jan..at 23 she is living her parents dreams and not hers.

Anonymous said...

The person who wrote this is very unhappy with her own life... and very judgemental.

Anonymous said...

Agree: The older girls have been given more responsibility to raise this family than is right, IMO. I do not judge the Duggars' beliefs, nor their desire to have a large family. I *have* always felt, though, that the oldest girls are too heavily depended on to raise that family. That said...

I disagree that Michelle does nothing. She is one busy mom, and her ability to instill incredible character in her 19 kids is amazing. Kudos to her. The ebb and flow of a family that size will NOT look like the average family because it simply isn't.

And your attacks on Duggar field trips are...silly. Really? Every field trip you ever took, in school, was "themed"? And of those that were, you can unanimously state, "therefore, I gained a lasting knowledge from the experience"? I seriously doubt it. My field trips included Cooks' forest, a potato chip factory, an amusement park, and other "non-themed" trips. Shame on my public educators. And my themed field trips included the orchestra, a history museum, and a planetarium. I was "utterly" bored at looking at lights on the ceiling at the planetarium, continued to loathe history until I was in college, and still would not desire to sit through the orchestra again (though I enjoy classical music on CD). One size indeed does not fit all, on EITHER end.

Every parent is going to raise his/her child according to the values and beliefs he/she feels inclined to pass on. That may look very liberal, or very conservative. It may involve freedom of choice, guided decision making, very little freedom, or too much freedom. But ALL parents will make a choice as to how they feel their children should be raised. You appear to pity the Duggar children's lack of freedom and choice. I much more pity the child who has been left to his or her own devices, with open boundaries and no grounded sense of right and wrong (there ARE parents who believe this is a good way to bring up their children.)

We all do what we feel best by our children. The Duggar kids may not be being raised to your complete liking, but they DO appear to be turning out with a sense of service (both spiritually and community minded), duty, compassion, and kindness. They very much appear to be decent human beings. I can't imagine why that is fodder for posts such as yours.

And for the record, it was annoying to read the first paragraphs of your post, which were eloquent and objectively stated, only to serve as a "hook" for your truly intended message, judgement. That's sad.